


here's my heart (hide it with you)

by Darth Occlus (NotSummer)



Series: deliverance [8]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Cold Weather, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Honesty, Huddling For Warmth, Humor, Kissing, Love Confessions, Missions, Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship, Snowed In, accidental confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 05:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSummer/pseuds/Darth%20Occlus
Summary: Ostensibly, it's just another mission. Just another mission where she pretends she isn't in love with her partner. Just another mission where she pretends she isn't wondering if there's a chance he loves her back.





	here's my heart (hide it with you)

**Author's Note:**

> The rewriting begins.

“Kriffing hells,” Miyala muttered as the harsh lights of the Confederacy base flickered and dies around her and her partner. The distinct hum of the heating systems groaned and died, and her shoulders slumped. “And you said it wouldn’t be an issue taking a Twi’lek to a snow planet,” she accused. “Son of a gutkurr.”

“That's a poor insult,” Jesse replied, crossing his arms. “I have no parents to insult.” He took off his helmet and grinned at her, tucking his bucket under his arm.

“That’s… not the point,” she grumbled. She turned her head away to hide the blush she couldn’t quite stop from rising to her cheeks: something she’d been doing more and more of these days. They’d been assigned together for a four and a half months. It’d only been a week when she’d known she was falling for him, and it was two months before she admitted to herself she had quietly fallen in love with him.

Goddess, as hard this assignment could be, she was still glad for it. She had neither a legion nor a company nor a squad to watch out for, just a partner. Her skills as a Shadow were wasted on the front lines anyway.

She watched him out of the corner of her eye as she drifted to a console, looking for a dead man’s switch or a timer or something that might have turned the power off. It was looking like pure bad luck and bad weather though, and she grimaced as she stood back up from peeking under a console. This storm was going to make it nearly impossible to leave on their own.

“Well, I guess we’re not going to decrypt their data drives after all,” Jesse said. “Or rendezvous with the 501st.”

“Sorry,” she answered. “I know you wanted to be there. We at least completed our portion of the mission.” They’d shut down the listening post alright. Some of the droids were barely recognizable between the Force, her lightsabers, his grenades, and his rifle. “Hope they get their part done quickly so they can come and find us.”

He snorted, and pulled his helmet back on, restarting his armer’s thermal controls. He’d taken a couple hits in the firefight, but for the most part, it looked like everything was working. He smacked the side of his helmet, and she hid a grimace. Maybe not. “While it’s working, I’m going to check on the outside generators,” he said. “Hopefully the thermal units will hold out long enough.”

“Right,” she said, looking down at her robes. They were insulated, and thicker than her normal ones, but in his armor he was simply better prepared for the cold. “Be careful,” she said, the words slipping out in a more worried tone than she’d meant for.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured her, backing out of the command center.

She watched him go, wringing her hands, and then headed for the rooms where the organic command staff had been holed up. She stepped over the bodies, ignoring the distinctive lightsaber wounds on each one. Wishing she was better at telekinesis, she threw all the blanket and pillows she could find onto a mattress she drug out into the hallway, and then wrapped a Force Barrier around the giant pile. She moved the barrier instead, the barrier carrying the pile into a corner of the command room.

She crawled into the blankets, turning them into a nest, and then hiding herself beneath them so only her eyes were visible, peaking out from underr the mass. She closed them, waiting for Jesse’s steadfast presence in the force to return.

She didn’t wait long. He tramped into the command center, shaking, and she struggled out from underneath the blankets as she realized his armor had given out. She wrapped her fingers around his. They were freezing, even for a human. “Armor off,” she snapped, “And get into the blankets.”

“You’re finally ordering me around,” he chattered, and she regretted her tone. His fingers, dulled by the cold, struggled with the buckles, and she batted his hands away before unding each piece herself. “This isn’t how I imagined you getting me out of my armor went,” he grumbled, tongue loosened by the cold.

Her fingers went still on the buckle of his shoulder plates, and he winced. “General Naida, I’m-.” He trailed off, unable to meet her eyes.

Slowly, she resumed unbuckling his armor, before she finally said, “Into the blankets.” Even with her guess that he returned her feelings, weakened by a hundred self-doubts, it was still… surprising to hear him flirt with her.

He complied quietly, and she pulled off her outer robes before snuggling up to him, hoping her naturally higher core temperatures would help warm him up quicker. “I’m sorry, General,” he said quietly. “It won’t happen again.”

Covered by a dozen blankets, Miyala could barely see him. “You’re fine,” she said. She closed her eyes. She could brush this under the rug, both of them pretending they hadn’t heard his comment like both of them pretended they were just colleagues.

She couldn’t though. “Remember that mission to the gala? I never wanted it to stop. I thought I was the only one, but…” She faltered. “Goddess, we could get in trouble. You more so.”

“You didn’t realize, did you?”

“No,” she admitted. “I thought… I thought I was the only one who felt anything. I was trying to keep it hidden. I didn’t want to push you into an awkward situation.”

He heaved a sigh. “And I was worried about you trying to ignore how I felt.” He laughed, a short sharp sound. “You didn’t notice a thing, did you?”

She stayed silent.

“A Jedi trained as an investigator, interrogator, and intelligence operative... Didn’t notice the fact I was stamping down the fact I had feelings for you every time we spoke.” Jesse said, drawing out the words in disbelief.

“Maybe,” she grumped. She covered her face with her hands, and then confessed, “I still thought I was misreading you. I only started to pick up on anything after the gala mission, because of the Zeltron woman.”

“Miyala.”

“I know, I know,” she said.

“That’s _terrible_ ,” he said, chortling.

She laughed. “Maybe.” She looked up at him, and then said simply, “I thought you were too good for me. I thought you deserved more. And my doubts got in the way.”

“I thought you were choosing to ignore your feelings,” he said. “Because you’re a Jedi.” And there was the bantha in the room.

She outranked him. Her Order controlled him. She wasn’t even supposed to fall in love in the first place: Jedi were supposed to be above such things. “I’m not much of a Jedi these days,” she confessed. “Too many doubts about the Order and the Code and what’s right and what I’m told is supposed to be right.”

She hesitated. “I’m not pushing for anything. If you’re uncomfortable… We’re partners, but I’m still part of the Order… I don’t want to…” She grasped wildly for the words she needed to say. “We’d have to keep anything a secret. We’d have to hide. I’m not pushing for anything. If you don’t want to pursue a relationship, then that’s fine, and-.”

Her words were coming faster and faster, but her cut her off. “Miyala.” She fell silent, and he shuffled them around in the blankets, nudging her until she was on her back, lying in the blankets. He propped himself up on his side, leaning over slightly so he was partly covering her body with his own. His free hand rose to brush his fingers over her cheek. The tenderness in his gaze stole her breath away. “I want this,” he said quietly, confirming the emotion hidden in his eyes.”

Delight bubbled up in her, and she laughed, a grin crossing her face as she leaned up to kiss him. The kiss was undignified, both of them smiling too much to make it long and deep. He pulled back slightly, his brow pressed against hers and their noses rubbing together as they both giggled, their eyes closed as they enjoyed each other’s presence. 

“I think,” she whispered giddily, “This is my favorite mission.”

He snickered, and then started to press kisses to her cheeks and jaw and nose, everywhere he could. In between kisses, he murmured, “It _is_ cold outside. You going to warm me up?”

“That was  _ awful _ , Jesse.” She intercepted his lips with her own, turning the playful kisses into something slow and deep.

He broke the kiss to murmur, “And I don’t know, I enjoyed the gala if we're talking favorite missions. You dressed in my colors, laughing, never far from my side. Mine for the world to see.”

A quiet whine poured out of her throat. “Yours,” she agreed. “Always yours.” She pushed on his shoulder, and he flopped over on his back. She moved so she was straddling him, and leaned down to kiss him. Her lekku flopped over her shoulder, landing on his own shoulders with a thud. He didn’t touch them, instead electing to grasp her thighs in his hands, pulling her closer.

The Force shivered, and she broke the kiss suddenly, putting her hands on his chest as she sat up, her eyes scanning around her. The cold suddenly bit back into her, and she shivered.

“What is it? Seppies?” Jesse watched her reactions. He was tense, ready to act.

She probed more into the approaching presences and then relaxed. “Friendlies. But I doubt this is how we want to be found.”

“No,” he replied dryly, “That wouldn’t be the best plan.” He stepped out of the blankets only long enough to quickly replace his armor before huddling back down. She curled back against him, pulling more blankets around them. GAR protocol was for troopers to share heat if armor went out: they were perfectly fine by the regs. Selfishly though, she enjoyed being close to him.

“What happens after this?”

“I think,” Miyala replied quietly, “We hide this. Keep quiet. I think the Occlus and on missions are when we’re going to be more… free, I guess.” She shook her head and added fiercely, “I’m not ashamed, and I want to be open, but…”

“A trooper who corrupts a Jedi?” It was rhetorical. And she knew the Order would blame him, rather than one of its own.

She nodded. “This is my choice,” she said, seeking to reassure him. “There was no ‘corruption’. But the Order…” She trailed off. The clones had been blamed for a lot of things. It wasn’t fair. “The Order and I don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things.”

“I know,” he muttered, “Otherwise we wouldn’t be here.” His comm blinked to life before crackling, cutting out in a burst of static, and he grimaced. “Should we meet them near the entrance or wait for them to come to us? Comms aren’t working, so all they know is that we haven’t been responding.”

“Wait for them,” she decided. “It’ll give me more time to try and contact Anakin.”

“But comms aren’t-. Oh, the Force.”

She nodded, already reaching out to the Jedi approaching. Skywalker was a supernova in the Force, bright and sending bursts of energy rippling around him. She mentally winced, but his presence only grew brighter as he got closer. She felt an acknowledgement from him, and she withdrew, blinking rapidly. “Skywalker’s in a good mood.”

“Hopefully there was light casualties then,” Jesse said. Guilt threaded through his tone. If the storm hadn’t made travel impossible, the two of them would have been participating in the assault on the CIS fortress hidden on this world.

She pushed her awareness towards the rest of Torrent company: they hadn’t needed the full battalion. Counting presences, she pulled back. “There was maybe a dozen missing that I could tell. They may have been evac-ed, I can only tell who’s on the gunships.” There was a presence she didn’t recognize, but she’d heard rumors of an ARC Captain participating in this mission.

When Skywalker finally strolled into the command center, he was flanked by Rex and another Captain. Miyala noted the friction between the two of them, her eyes narrowing curiously, before she turned her attention to Anakin. “Sorry we couldn’t be there.”

Anakin’s grin grew wider. “Actually, they got hit by the storm just as hard. Over two thirds of their droids weren’t up and running, and their comm systems, internal and external, as well as their generator had been knocked offline by the storm. Easy pickings.”

“We sent some shinies who didn’t seal their armor correctly back to the Resolute to warm up but it was an easy mission,” Rex said. “Standard Seppies base, wasn’t altered to withstand the climate.”

Miyala blinked. “Well, Intel missed that,” she said, “But it makes sense. Trade Federation didn’t want to shell out, and we get to wreck their base with minimal effort.”

“ _You’re_ intel, Naida,” Anakin said.

“No, We’re seek and destroy,” she defended, “And all my intel comes from pirate movements and underworld shipping anyway. I haven’t been involved in CIS politics and military intelligence.”

“You know,” Jesse started, “ _This_ base was up and running. So I guess we did all the work.” 

Miyala turned to look at him, and then turned back to Anakin, a grin growing on her face. “That’s right. This base wasn’t knocked out, and it’s generator was working right up until we captured it. Fully staffed, too.” She struggled out of the blankets so she could stand up and cross her arms. “Keep talking banthashit Skywalker, ‘cause Jesse’s got a point.”

“He’s right,” the Captain Miyala didn’t recognize said. Anakin turned a look of utter betrayal on him, and Miyala muffled a laugh.

Anakin glared at Miyala, but with an easy mission accomplished, no deaths, the air was jovial. “I’m sorry, do you want to go back to the Resolute with everyone else who couldn’t deal with the cold? You look pretty chilly.”

“A droid got my thermal unit, sir,” Jesse explained. “Lucky shot.” He had pulled the blankets with him when he stood, his helmet peeking out of a mass of fabric.

“We’ll get it replaced,” Anakin assured him, his tone turning more business like. “And hopefully no more snow planets for a while.”

“Roger that, sir,” Jesse said. Miyala nodded. She was looking forward to a hot shower on the Occlus: one of the perks of their own ship. Neither had to ration their water to five minute showers.

She hesitated, and then slipped towards the entrance, leading the group. She grumbled to herself as she trotted to keep ahead of her taller allies, all of whom had longer legs and quicker strides. Her mouth twitched though when she realized Jesse had to have been slowing his strides for her previously.

Force, he was a good man. She glanced over her shoulder at him, and then focused back on the corridor in front of her, one earcone tuned to Anakin’s conversation with the trooper she didn’t know.

“I know you hate snow. It gets everywhere.”

“I-. Ross.” The exasperated affection in Anakin’s tone made Miyala pause. Interesting.

Ross snickered, and then said dryly, “At least it’s not coarse and rough.”

Anakin’s deep sigh led Miyala to wonder if it was an inside joke. She broke off from her silent watching of the ripples in the Force between them as the group approached the doors. She glared at the closed doors. It was cold outside, and she was a daughter of the desert.

Skywalker seemed to share her opinion. Both of them shared an irritated glance and then scowled at the doors. Ross tilted his head back, a helmeted version of an eye roll, and hit the doors. Cold wind blew in, and Ross and Rex, who had working armor, stomped out first while Miyala hesitated and then dashed over the snow towards the waiting gunship. Jesse and Anakin followed her, squeezing through the gunship doors as soon as they opened.

The minute Ross and Rex were inside, Miyala hit the gunship door controls. The pilots took off, and Miyala smiled. “You look happy,” Anakin noted.

She shrugged. “The mission went well.” Jesse’s amusement filtered through the Force as Anakin took the statement at face value. She glanced over at him, where he was talking quietly with Ross, and turned back to Anakin. “Nice and uneventful.”


End file.
